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A Fool Proof Guide for Avoiding Future Situationships

Writer's picture: Caitlin CantorCaitlin Cantor

Follow these rules and you'll stop wasting your time in painful situationships. The sooner you move on from the wrong person the quicker you'll find the right one.


 

In this post, you’ll learn how you end up in situationships, why your feelings are valid (and how to remember that when someone tells you they’re not), and how to avoid ever getting into one again. I hope you find this helpful!



 

Photo by Edu Grande on Unsplash

I just got back from celebrating my husband’s 40th birthday in South Dakota. Since it was a milestone birthday, we brought our babysitter with us. We went on big hikes that our daughter couldn’t do, and we had ample time to ourselves. Our babysitter, a 23-year-old girl, is single and looking for a new boyfriend. She’s smart, kind, funny, beautiful, and has her shit together. And, like most people who are single and looking for a partner, she’s having a rough time dating.


Our babysitter, who I’ll call Anna (not her real name), told me that she likes a guy I’ll call Jim (not his real name), who told her he wasn’t looking for a relationship. Anna told him that was fine. She wanted to be easygoing and go with the flow. Jim began taking her out on dates and texting her all the time. After a couple of weeks, they started having sex. He held her hand, held her close, and made her feel cared for. Anna felt happy and excited about him. Even though Jim told her he wasn’t looking for a relationship, Anna thought his actions meant there was hope that Jim would change his mind.



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I am a Licensed Individual, Couples & AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. I’ve been in private practice for over a decade, working with individuals and couples. On my website you'll find resources for therapy, coaching, digital products and a wealth of free information to support your journey. I look forward to getting to know you!

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