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Dear Caitlin No. 3- Things are great when we're together and very different when we're apart...

Updated: Sep 7, 2022

Dear Caitlin,

I met this guy online, and we’ve been going out on dates, sleeping together, and spending the night together. Then, when I leave, I don’t hear from him. I’ll text him and he’ll text me back but he doesn’t initiate the conversations. I ask him to hang out most of the time, and he’s usually up for it. I feel like I’m doing all the work to see him and I’m wondering what I can do to get him to put in more effort. If he’s interested in getting together and spending the night with me, that means he’s interested right?



Dear Anonymous,

That sounds so frustrating and confusing! It’s not like you’re asking him to get together and he’s saying no, so it makes sense you would be wondering if he’s actually interested or not. But here’s the thing: your job isn’t to get him to do anything. Your job is to decide if you like your dynamic or not. If you want a relationship where you initiate everything, and he shows up but doesn’t make any effort, this is your guy. If you don’t want that, this is not your guy. Whether he’s interested or not doesn’t matter. Are YOU interested in someone like that?




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